My Problem With "Maggie Goes On A Diet"

I discovered Maggie Goes On A Diet during one of my morning rituals (I tend to start my days with a cup o' joe and a few interesting Yahoo! articles). As the above video explains, the book, aimed at girls as young as 6 or 7, is about an overweight 14-year-old who decides to go on a diet after being teased mercilessly by her classmates.

I probably don't have to tell you that Maggie has sparked a lot of controversy. The media has been raving about so-called "mommy bloggers" who are up in arms over how the book mishandles sensitive body image issues, but what I noticed after sifting through the comments on several news articles is a slightly different attitude:

"There is nothing offensive about this book, unless you're living in denial. Girls do tend to obsess about their weight and image far more than boys, so choosing a girl as the main character makes sense." 

"God forbid she take up an activity that causes her to lose weight. What an awful message." 

"This book is a good thing. The last thing this world needs
is more fat chicks."

I'm not usually a fan of chatspeak, but I think that last statement warrants a big-ass smh.

I have no objection whatsoever to children's books teaching healthy eating habits and the value of exercise, but as a former (and current) Fat Girl this book is offensive. Society has always done a bang-up job of making girls feel like crap about themselves, and this book is the icing on the cake — or should I say, the no-calorie sweetener on the high-fiber oatmeal?

What could have been an uplifting book about a girl eating wholesome foods, having fun playing outside, and ultimately feeling good about herself (without other's approval) turned into a social commentary about the unacceptability of being overweight in our society. Maggie is a loser when she's fat. Nobody likes her. The boys all point and laugh. But then she drops X number of pounds and people are putty in her hands. She becomes the star of the soccer team, people know her by name and want to be her friend, and boys even think she's cute — the ultimate triumph! *gags*

I'm not denying the fact that there's an obesity problem in this country and I'm certainly not knocking the importance of a balanced diet and exercise. But there's a way to deal with these issues without telling little girls that their physical appearance and value as a person are inextricably linked.

For Teens: Why Talking About Birth Control Matters

This post is for a blog carnival called "Birth Control: We've Got You Covered," which is being sponsored by the National Women's Law Center. Soon the Web is going to light up with who-knows-how-many bloggers, each giving their own two cents on no-cost birth control and other related issues. Personally, I want to speak to teens and younger girls about why birth control is so dang important (even if it doesn't figure into all of our lives just yet).

Those ain't no Sweet Tarts!

If you're a relatively new feminist like I am (my glorious "click" moment only came about a year ago), it's easy to get sucked up into the feminist agenda — everything from equal pay to reproductive rights — without thinking too deeply about these issues or considering why they're so pivotal to the women's liberation movement.

New feminists, especially us young'uns, seem to go through a crazed, sugar-rushed phase where we're just so excited to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We start calling out sexist jokes in the produce department, we start doodling feminist-y things in our school notebooks, and we can't help but pose like Rosie the Riveter each time we catch ourselves in a mirror.
(Tip: Don't do this in public. People will stare.)

Don't get me wrong, this "feminist awakening" phase is zealous and incredibly life-affirming, but it can also hurt us if we begin nodding our heads to every single thing our feminist role models say just for the sake of proving our "feminist-ness." (I was guilty of that when I started calling myself pro-choice just because "all the feminists were doing it." I still call myself pro-choice, but now I've got the understanding to back it up. Yea-yuh.)

Support for birth control is one of those feminist ideals that "comes with the job description," but how many times, as teens, do we sit down and actually talk about it, or think about the implications it will have for our futures?

*cricket chirps*

That's what I thought.

Support for birth control has been synonymous with the feminist movement for decades, but when many of our older feminist allies (and I don't mean "older" in a bad way, just literally "older" than those of us born in the Era of Classic Nicktoons) talk about birth control and contraception, the focus automatically shifts to women in their 20's and 30's. Like birth control doesn't also affect our lives.

If you're a young person today, you know about sex. 

Say NO to virgin-whore dichotomy.

Sex saturates every ounce of media that we soak up: it's in books, movies, video games, steamy vampire dramas, the list goes on and on. Parents need to realize that if we're not getting our information from them (via one of those mythical "sex talks"), we're getting our information from less reliable sources — and many times this misinformation is coupled with ridiculous virgin-whore dichotomy (i.e. "good girls don't do that") which makes us even more confused about what the hell is going on with our bodies, about what's acceptable and what's not.

We get it, parents.

It's weird to think about your "babies" as sexual beings (it's weird for us, too, believe me), but that's no excuse to keep us from the realities of sex, contraception, STDs, and pregnancy. And just because we're not on The Pill now, doesn't mean that someday we won't be. As feminists, teens, girls: we need to know that contraception matters.

Right now, the Department of Health and Human Services is deciding "whether or not prescription contraceptives should be available under new healthcare plans without co-pay or other out-of-pocket costs." If the DHHS comes out with a favorable opinion, that could mean no-cost birth control for countless women nationwide. Considering birth control can cost upward of $100 per month (depending on one's method), many women in today's economy have had to choose between contraception and cancer screenings, between contraception and groceries.

In the 50's and 60's, many women were hearing about their
reproductive options for the first time. (Shock!)

The average woman spends three quarters of her reproductive life trying to prevent pregnancy, so yeah, birth control is a big deal. The National Women's Law Center is hopeful that the DHHS will "see the light" on this issue, and ultimately heed the recommendations given by a non-partisan, independent panel of scientific and medical experts at the Institute of Medicine (the panel's recommendations range from providing "yearly well-woman preventative care visits" to "screening and counseling to detect and prevent interpersonal and domestic violence").

For the millions of women who rely on birth control to keep their options open, and for your future and mine, I really hope the DHHS is able to reach a favorable consensus. In teen lingo: I hope they don't screw the heck up.

But until then, let's place our hands on our chins, act cool, and ponder some random facts birth control . . .

• About the time your grandparents were growing up (assuming they were born in the 50's or earlier), birth control was taboo. Many states had laws (i.e. the Comstock Laws) that not only banned people from using contraception, but from distributing any shred of information about it whatsoever. Also in those days, women were often expected to marry at a young age and have large families, regardless of any plans they had for the future.
• Unintended pregnancies can be harmful to women who have preexisting health conditions such as hypertension or coronary artery disease. A true testament to "it's better to be safe than sorry."
• Data shows that between 1990 and 2004, U.S. pregnancy rates declined almost 40 percent among 15- to 19-year-old women. One study attributed 86 percent of the long-term decline in teen pregnancies to increased contraceptive use.
• Planned pregnancies (which, as the NWLC points out, usually require contraception) allow women time to make certain lifestyle changes that will promote healthy babies.
• When it comes to HIV, sex is 10,000 times safer with a condom than without one.
• Birth control allows women to choose whether they want to start families earlier in life, hold off to pursue other endeavors (like, you know, kicking ass in college and the working world), or not have kids at all.

Birth control gives "power to the people," or rather, it gives women the opportunity to make choices that are right for their personal, individual lives. We're all different, life is short, and we should all be given the choice of how we spend our time — raising a family, going to work, or maybe even both. 

Nothing should be off-limits to us.

A Modest Proposal (Abortion Edition)

Last year in class we read A Modest Proposal (1729) by Jonathan Swift. It's a satirical piece in which Swift suggests that the Irish should eat their own babies rather than tackle problems of overpopulation and poverty head-on. We were asked to write a similarly satirical piece about an impassioned issue, so I chose abortion rights. [WARNING: The keyword here is "satire," people!]

Which side am I really on?

Written October 9, 2010

Abortion has been one of the most fiercely debated topics of the 21st century, and frankly, I’m tired of hearing about it. If right-wingers truly believe abortion is a sin, and the women who choose to abort are evil, heartless murderers, it’s time to do something rather than settle for bad picket signs and expect anything to happen. What, are we just going to say “no more abortions!” and wait for them to disappear like rats up a drain pipe? We need to get to the root of the problem.

First, we need to ask ourselves: what drives women to have abortions? Are these women simply born with demonic souls, or are they driven to kill after years of reckless partying, drinking, and hardcore drugs (because obviously, any woman callous enough to get an abortion must be sniffing the Big H)? 

Some will have you believe that the decision has less to do with a woman’s lifestyle, and more with what she can expect for the future of her baby. If a woman becomes pregnant, these pro-choicers cry, and her partner is irresponsible, refuses to pay child support, or just gets up and leaves, she may not have the means to provide for a child. Pro-choicers want us to think that if a woman has a dead-end job, absolutely no support, and struggles just to find her next meal, it’s okay for her to choose an abortion rather than let her child suffer. 

Evil, right?

I propose three solutions to the abortion epidemic in this country. First, we must outlaw condoms and sex education. By exposing children to the mechanics of sex and pregnancy prevention as early as middle school, we’re basically telling them (a) it’s okay to “get jiggy with it,” and (b) there are ultimately no consequences because any mistake (i.e. pregnancy) can simply be undone (i.e. abortion). By outlawing condoms, couples will know that their actions may result in an unwanted pregnancy, and they’ll refrain from doing the deed in the first place.

Next, we must set up a national fund to pay women for choosing life over murder. If a poverty-stricken woman is given a choice between having an abortion or receiving a lump sum and letting her baby live, she’ll definitely choose the money. Thus, dinner is served and she can live happily ever after — guilt and problem free — with her bouncing bundle of joy.

Finally, we must make it illegal for two people to have “relations” without first signing mutual contracts in which they provide vital information, including (but not limited to): their name, age, sex, complete medical history, social security number, financial records, and high school transcript. By making the intimate details of our medical histories accessible to the public, we will know at once who has heart conditions, bladder control problems, hemorrhoids, STDs, clinical baldness, etc. and can thus make better decisions about our sexual partners. Not to mention, women will never be in the position of deciding whether or not to keep her child because of an irresponsible partner — she will already have access to his bank account! It’s the perfect solution!

As long as we’re willing to give up any shred of privacy whatsoever and allow the government to have free reign over our personal lives, we can eradicate abortion in America once and for all.

Sure, we could take the easy route and assume women are intelligent and conscientious enough to make their own decisions about their own bodies; we could have faith in the fact that women don’t take abortion lightly, that they think about it long and hard, and are affected by it each and every day for the rest of their lives; we could even focus on better sex education and allow free access to birth control to lessen the chance that couples would have to face an unplanned pregnancy in the first place.

But we’re Americans, and we don’t like to take the easy route.

Life According to Google (Men vs. Women)

Is Google an elusive window into the complex minds of internetizens, 

or just an annoying friend who likes to finish all your sentences?

I Was A Childhood Feminist #2

I Was A Childhood Feminist #1

Am I the only one who's completely freaked out by child beauty pageants?

I have to ask this question: am I the only one who's completely freaked out by child beauty pageants? I mean, whenever I'm flipping through our 900 channels (887 of which are useless) and happen across the show Toddlers & Tiaras, I can't help but watch it. I just sit there with this overall dumb look on my face because I am both mesmerized and horrified by these strange, nightmare-like creatures that are some people's idea of "beauty."

I don't care what the message was in Miss Congeniality, beauty pageants are messed up. Having full grown women prance around in bikinis to prove their self-confidence is degrading enough, but watching little 5-year-old girls do the same seems borderline abusive. These are tiny, tiny girls. Babies. Yet their coaches - who am I kidding, their mothers - are forcing them to adhere to "mature" standards of beauty, like wearing short, revealing dresses, (ten pounds of) makeup, big, bouncy hair, fake tans, and even fake teeth.

Is it just me, or is the damage really obvious here? These mothers are basically telling their daughters that they are not good enough - that they won't even have a shot at winning a pageant, let alone succeed in life - if they're not tan enough, skinny enough, peppy enough, or pretty enough. Because as we all know, girls can never be good enough.

You can cut the whole "beauty pageants are good for self-esteem" crap right now, 'cause I ain't buying it. Beauty pageants are exactly that - dehumanizing contests to see which girl looks best in a swimsuit and/or frilly dress. And don't even try to justify it with "well, the girls are encouraged to be themselves during the talent competitions!" Because if these little girls were truly given license to be themselves, their moms wouldn't be in the corner screaming "smile wider, honey! Remember that smile we practiced?"

How I detest that smile.

Believe it or not, beauty pageant moms are ten times scarier than their little demo-- I mean angels. Not only do many of them yell at their daughters when they make teeny-weeny mistakes, these women usually fit the same mold. Without spelling out every detail, you can guess that most of these women weren't treated as well as they should have as children. Maybe they never felt pretty, wanted, loved. Maybe they were told they were too "this" or too "that" to enter a pageant; maybe they got picked on in school. Whatever the case, most of these moms (I'd say 99%) are living through their daughters to create the childhood, fame, and success they wanted as children.

Beauty pageants teach little girls that looks and dresses and smiles and competition and prize money are everything in life. In other words, we need to be picture perfect. From the way we walk, to the way we talk, to the way we flirtatiously smile at others - we will always be judged. If you let your guard down even a little, you can't win in life.

What a load of bull-crap!

I would never want my daughter (please note that I'm thinking 15 years down the road here) to be a part of something like that. I can't even fathom sitting back while watching my 5-year-old being picked apart in front of a panel of judges (and other whacked-out mothers). How could any parent stand to watch that? Internal beauty my ass, confidence my ass . . .

Now you're probably thinking: Danielle, what if your daughter comes to you one day and says she wants to be in a beauty pageant? Simple. I'll say: "Who wants to sit in a stinky old chair for 6 hours getting their makeup done when they could be chopping this in half?!" That's when I'll whip out a 2-by-4.

Yes, my daughter will be joining karate.

Want to see some real heartbreak? Watch this video all the way 'till the end: