How do you feel about NY's same-sex marriage ruling? Submit your opinion to the online zine Grrrl Beat!

I'm guessing you've already heard the fantastic news: "[New York] lawmakers voted late Friday to legalize same-sex marriage, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the national gay-rights movement new momentum from the state where it was born."

Sophie, the creator of the online magazine Grrrl Beat, is seeking submissions from teens about their views on this momentous ruling. If this issue is at all important to you, I highly suggest whipping up a response and sending it to grrrlbeat@gmail.com as soon as possible!

This was my response: 

Before finding feminism and identifying wholly with the movement, I wasn't too familiar with the LGBTAQ (lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, asexual, queer) community or its struggles. I certainly didn't have a problem with people who fit under the acronym's umbrella, but I knew as much about their varying lifestyles as I knew about theoretical physics (which wasn't much).

Considering I can literally count my family members on two hands (and the number of non-Christians on about three fingers), I didn't experience much diversity growing up. My parents were cool about most things and taught us to be honest, hard-working, etc., but homosexuality was something we just didn't talk about at the dinner table. (We rarely ate at the table, anyway. Most of the time we had our butts planted to watch Seinfeld. Bonding at its finest.)

Feminism introduced me to a litany of human rights issues. I'm still not as well-versed in the LGBTAQ movement as I would like to be, but I do have a child-like passion for equality. "Should two people of the same sex be allowed to get married?" seems like such a stupid question. If two people love each other, why shouldn't they be inclined to do whatever the hell they want? Love is love. It doesn't matter what form that takes.

When Sophie (from Grrrl Beat) emailed me the news — that same-sex couples can now get marriage licenses in New York — I was ecstatic. It was one of those fist-pumping "Hell yeah, equality strikes again!" sort of feelings. This may only be a small win in the grand scope of things, but this win will inspire another, and that win will inspire two more.

People are going to fight us every step of the way, but activists and feminists and allies are rising up in mighty hordes. Imagine if we (those of us who want to) go on to have kids of our own, passing on ideas like "equality" and "acceptance." Our kids will teach their kids, their kids will teach their own kids, and then those kids will go on to teach their kids (the only difference is they'll have robot butlers by then).

This world is changing for the better, and I am so damn excited.

A Video that Summarizes My Views on Gay Marriage

This video perfectly — and I mean perfectly — summarizes my feelings on gay marriage. Watch it (the actual thing starts at 0:28), and I'm pretty sure you'll figure out where I stand. 
If you like Nineteenpercent, check out her other video Beyonce - Run the World (LIES)!

Want a better chance of getting married, ladies?

Part of our summer homework for AP Language and Composition was to find ten op-ed (opinion-editorial) articles and respond to them. I wasn't looking forward to it until I realized The New York Times website has a nifty feature where you can "search" for any topic that happens to suit your fancy. I looked up "feminism" and that was it. My next three hours were pretty much set, reading up on tons of issues that I actually care about (sorry politics, I'm just not that into you). One of the best writers I've come across is Maureen Dowd, who infuses humor and a down-to-earth personality into whatever she's writing. Here's my response to her article Men Just Want Mommy:

Maureen Dowd certainly didn’t unearth the alarming trend of men preferring secretaries, assistants, and nannies (among other subservient roles) over successful, career-minded women, but she describes the plight with enough statistics and wit to leave me sufficiently scared for the future. According to countless studies all over the world, men prefer “young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way.” Dowd muses: “it’s all about orbiting, serving, and salaaming their Sun Gods.”

The sad thing is, women who strive for top corporate positions and six-figure salaries are often stereotyped as manly, aggressive, vain, insensitive, and neglectful of their familial duties. As Dowd observes, “art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.”

These feelings are never more apparent than in Hollywood, where the “soothing aura of romances between unequals” brings in the big bucks. How many movies can you think of have a leading man falling for his nanny, secretary, maid? Now how many can you think of where said man falls for his (female) boss?* Men are intimidated, it seems, by women who are competitive and self-sufficient, as if they’re incapable of also being friendly, nurturing, and compassionate. This certainly isn’t what feminists have in mind for “equality;” is it fair that women are penalized for being smart, independent, and pro-active, when men are respected for it?

Like always, Dowd uses hardcore facts to put things in perspective. For example, it would probably scare (scar?) a lot of single ladies to know that, according to a study conducted at four British universities, “the prospect for marriage [increases] by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.”

Well that’s... ridiculous, sexist, and little disheartening.

Our conclusion, however, shouldn’t be to dumb ourselves down (possibly by listening to Pat Robertson for five seconds?) until we’re “desirable enough” for a man. We should strive to be all that we can, and if a guy comes along who just happens to love and appreciate our hard work and incandescent personalities . . . great.

_____________________________

*I'd like to point out that the only movie I know featuring a man falling for his boss is Bob the Butler, which I'm pretty sure was pulled from the Disney Channel for a scene involving Tom Green's nipples.

She lived happily (and single) ever after . . .

Congratulations! You were lucky enough to win a spot on Family Feud (back when the show was still cool because Richard Karn rocked the house). You’re only a few points away from victory, and if you get this next question right you will have done enough to send the other team packing. You brace yourself, feeling your hand creep closer to the buzzer, lips tingling with the anticipation of your next answer...

“Name a movie that ends with a woman falling in love with - or perhaps marrying - the man of her dreams.”

Pfft. Forget that. You’ve already won.

Why does it seem like 99.9% of books, movies, TV shows, songs, and [insert example here] culminate with the female lead falling in love, finding a boyfriend, getting married, or some variance of the three? I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, and popular culture seems to think a woman’s ultimate goal is to wait patiently until she's swept away by her "prince charming." And while I, too, am a huge fan of love (at least the idea of it), I don’t see why that has to be our main objective in life.

In fact, when I tried to think of a movie that didn’t end with the immensely overrated "and they (implying a man and woman) lived happily ever after," I nearly gave myself a hernia. (It wasn't until after the dizzyness wore off that my brain kindly reminded me that I had seen such a movie. Nice.)

About a month ago my parents went to Canada to celebrate their twenty-something wedding anniversary (did you know Ontario is the new City of Love?), leaving me to defend the homestead. I ended up spending the weekend with one of my best friends, and in our boredom rented a movie called Whip It on On-Demand.

Whip-It is honestly one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. It stars Ellen Page (the lovable, smart-mouthed heroine of Juno) as Bliss Cavender, a quirky misfit who, like many of us, hasn't found her niche. Bliss's mother, a mail-carrier and former beauty pageant dynamo, expects her daughter to be the same southern belle she had been in her youth, and as you can imagine this creates more than a few problems. In a classic scene of juicy rebellion, Bliss shows up to a pageant with dyed-blue hair. Aww yeah.

The theme of the movie "be your own hero" isn't exactly original, but I found myself intrigued by the subculture of roller derby women Bliss eventually finds herself connecting with (and with names like Maggie Mayhem, Smashley Simpson, Iron Maven, and Rosa Sparks, can you blame me?). These women are tough, fearless, and unique (to say the least), and the young teen is soon welcomed into their ranks as Babe Ruthless, discovering a talent - and toughness - she never knew she had.

So, why did I bring this up?

You see, Bliss eventually falls for the lead singer/guitarist of a punk rock band, Oliver. They hit it off, he's great, he's cute, we're subject to several mushy scenes of their budding relationship . . .


But when Mr. Cool leaves to go on tour things turn ugly. First, he doesn't answer Bliss's calls when she actually needs him (i.e. after storming out of her house after a particularly nasty argument with her mother). Then, in an act that would win my dad's coveted "Dumbass Award," he gets involved with a new girl, and has the audacity to give her a shirt that Bliss had given to him.


And of course, he posts this all online. Ugh.


To make a long story short, Bliss realized what a complete jerk Oliver was. Sure, she had her moments of devastation (can you blame her?), but in the end she didn't need him to realize her own happiness. She went on to kick butt, eventually becoming this insane roller derby prodigee, and that is how the movie ended. Not with a cliche kiss, or a boyfriend, or a soulmate. And definitely not with a wedding.


If you missed my point, this whole obsession with finding "prince charming" has got to stop, ladies. Love will happen in time (if that's what you really want), but tying your own happiness, worth, and sense of accomplishment to whether or not you have a boyfriend is just ridiculous. Don't you think it's time we start making our own happy endings?


Want to check out the official trailer for "Whip It"? (You're welcome.)