I Wish They'd "Take It All Off" the Internet

I found this gem whilst randomly site-surfing the other day. The composition was just too perfect; I had to take a screen-shot. I like to call it: "The Left is What I Saw, The Right is What I Thought." I'm just so tired of exploitative internet ads. It doesn't matter if you're doing research for a paper or looking up lyrics to a Wiggles song — you can't escape the misogyny!

The "R" Word (By Randi S.)

This piece was written by Randi S., and also appears on her blog The Radical Idea. Randi is an activist, writer, and student of international women's issues.

Rape. Go ahead, say it. It’s not such a pleasant word, of course. We don’t like to delve too much into the issue of rape, or how widespread it is. We don’t like to look at the heartbreaking accounts of victims’ experiences. We don’t like to imagine it could happen to us.

But it is there, the dirty laundry we’ve somehow failed to clean up. And it’s not just "there." 17.6% of women in the United States are victims of an attempted or completed rape; and on college campuses, that proportion rises to 20-25%. On top of that, 64% of those crimes are perpetrated by current or former spouses, cohabitating partners, or boyfriends. And that’s just the crimes we know about: the FBI estimates that less than 40% of rapes are reported to the police.

That’s a little uncomfortable to think about, no? Now, many colleges offer crash courses in defense against rape — my own university offers a class called Rape Aggression Defense, or RAD. But that isn’t always enough. Among college women, about 47% of rapes were by dates or romantic acquaintances, and that applies to both male and female rape victims, mind you.

Unfortunately, colleges do tend to downplay problems like sexual assault, according to Jennifer Dorsey, a RAD instructor at American University in Washington, DC. Dorsey, who instructs women in moves used for self defense, says that a lot of what RAD teaches deals with mindset — focusing on understanding those who have been raped to be survivors, not just victims.

That’s an important point, because often victims of rape do suffer from psychological consequences, including anxiety, guilt, and depression. It can be a traumatic and redefining experience, but people shy away from talking about it, and the problems it cause make victims even more likely to be re-victimized. On top of that, 44% of women who have been date-raped say they’ve considered suicide, because they often feel they’ve lost who they previously were, or because of the shame/depression that accompanies this kind of situation.

Now, it can’t be denied that some percentage of rape cases are false accusations — but that’s about the same rate as other violent crimes, and yet you don’t see victims of burglaries or assault painted the same way that rape victims often are. In fact, sexual violence is a real problem because of the stigma attached to it — and because of the sense of humiliation and hurt that most victims encounter, making them reluctant to come forward about their experiences. According to Dorsey, many women don’t come forward "because (a) they feel it’s their fault or (b) they fear they’ll be judged for admitting it happened." And those two reasons are linked back to an increasingly prominent problem: victim-blaming.

Cases of victim-blaming are becoming more common, or at least more publicized, as people become increasingly agitated about the phenomenon. An AOL news story in March of 2011 reported that following the gang rape of an 11-year-old girl in Texas, much of the outrage was in fact directed at the victim.

In a remark that caused the controversy that would eventually inspire the SlutWalk campaign, a Canadian police officer commented that "if women want to avoid being raped, they should avoid dressing like sluts." This kind of victim-blaming is (a) not uncommon and (b) is probably part of why victims are reluctant to come forward. But the reality is, rape is not about sex: it’s about control. And people can try to point fingers at girls in short skirts and say they create temptation, they create opportunity, but that doesn’t make the rape any less of a crime. And odds are, if rape is about control, it’s more a matter of "when" than "if" — the victim was more likely just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So right here, right now, I just want to state very plainly what every crisis center and advocacy group and counselling resource has ever said: victims of rape and sexual assault are not at fault for the crimes perpetrated against them. 

As a character in Jodi Picoult’s The Tenth Circle states, "A rape victim and a fatal accident victim are both gone forever. The difference is that the rape victim still had to go through the motions of being alive." Blaming the victims only removes blame from the people who actually commit these crimes and violate other human beings. The job of friends, family, and communities is not to shove blame onto these victims, but to help them try to make sense of their lives in the aftermath of what has happened to them.

And on top of that, "no" always means "no". Even if you’re already making out, even if you’re past making out, even if clothes are coming off, no one is ever obligated to go through with a sexual act against their will. The other person may get angry, call them a tease, whatever, but the minute those words turn into action and consent is violated, it is rape. It is a crime. And it is always the fault of the person who actually commits that act.

Female, Not A Marionette (By Jennifer J.)

Who's pulling your strings?

This piece was submitted by Jennifer J., a teen feminist and humanist. Jennifer would like to communicate with other teens who share her values, and end up making the world a better place for women to speak out!

If I am writing this now, it is because I feel the need to share this with other females out there who might go through the same situation. Today, I have just realized what I am to other people, especially males. 

I am not exactly the type of girl who "goes after" somebody right after some silly talk. I like to know them first and try to be connected. I have a very big heart, but I don’t show it that much. On the outside I am the tough and cold girl you would never approach, but on the inside I am the girl who loves and cares. The only reason I don’t demonstrate it is because I have learned that the more you show how warm-hearted you are, the more people will take advantage of you. 

And so, when people would draw near me, I would be indifferent, not showing any emotions. But there was one person who, despite my frostiness, approached me and faced everything I threw at him. To me that was incredible; usually people would be distant because of how cold I am. Only he had the bravery to talk to me. 

Of course we talked for a while. We got to know each other and started talking about more romantic subjects. Like many guys, he wanted to be more intimate, however I wasn't comfortable with that. I would rather talk about these kind of things and fuel the imagination than actually be intimate with somebody. I still consider myself a little girl; I don’t want to go that far.

After arguing about it several times, I decided to drop it and delete this guy from my contacts. Was that supposed to feel bad? Well, I did feel bad about doing that for some reason. I added him back and we continued talking to each other. As time passed, he was really getting serious and that critically put pressure on me. My body is a temple. I am not supposed to be pressured because of it, right? 

I decided then to talk to him about it. I told him that I shouldn’t be pressured and that we should slow things down. Today, I realize that he obliterated me. Now it makes me think about how and what I am to males. 

I am a female, and I am intelligent, beautiful, graceful, important and trustworthy. My body is sacred and not a universal pathway. I am talking now in the name of all females in the world. We are not something people can just use for their fantasies. We are love, care, comfort and attention. We are strength, courage and beauty. What makes guys think that we can be the tissue they blow in? 

Our bodies are the reason why there is a world and a worldwide population. We bear life in us. We are to be respected and loved. So I will state this one very last thing and if you can, read it out loud:

“I am a woman and not a marionette.”  

20 Ways to Lessen Your Risk of Sexual Assault

(Above) One of the many campaign ads
from Men Can Stop Rape, an
organization that seeks to redefine
masculinity and "mobilize men to
use their strength for creating cultures
 free from violence, especially
men's violence against women."

This article was submitted to me by Corrine at NursingDegree.net.

It's heartbreaking that I have to post this, but clearly sexual assault is an issue that we can't overlook. According to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), a person in the U.S. is sexually assaulted every two minutes. According to that logic, there will be another victim — maybe two — by the time you finish reading this article.

Extending emotional support to sexual assault and rape survivors is certainly a topic for another post, but the link I'm about to share contains tips that could potentially spare you the pain of ever being caught off-guard in a dangerous situation. Sure, some of the tips are no-brainers (i.e. be aware of your surroundings), but if it could mean the difference between going into a situation prepared and going in unprepared, why not take a few minutes to look these tips over?

Here are the first 3 tips from 20 Ways to Lessen Your Risk of Sexual Assault:

1. Enroll in self-defense classes: Nearly every major city — and plenty of suburbs — hosts at least a few different self-defense and martial arts schools, as do many colleges and universities. Try to find one within a viable price range and workable schedule and put forth the effort to take regular classes. Make sure to also thoroughly research both the businesses and the different strategies they teach before making any commitment. Even if participants never have to put their newfound skills to use (and here’s hoping they don’t!), self-defense is one of the most valuable investments individuals make for their own safety and peace of mind.
2. Carry a weapon: Consider supplementing those self-defense classes by keeping a weapon concealed somewhere, like a purse or underneath a jacket. For those uncomfortable with the thought of owning a gun, options such as pepper spray, mace, stun guns or batons and plenty more provide a satisfactory level of protection as well. No matter which one proves best, however, anyone owning such devices must absolutely familiarize themselves with proper care, use, maintenance and (of course) legalities. Particularly when looking into gun ownership.
3. Travel in packs: It’s not always possible to step out with a few friends in tow, but take advantage of any situations where it is. Predators feed on vulnerability, as assault and rape have everything to do with power and almost nothing to do with sex. A small group, particularly one with a little self-defense training and/or weapons in the ranks, will certainly make each member feel far safer than if they were to travel alone. This strategy works well for parties, too, as a throng of trusted pals can look out for one another and intervene when it looks like something ugly might happen.
   Read the rest of the article here
   Check out these unsettling statistics from the RAINN's website:

___________________________

Update: Literally two seconds after publishing this article I found this post over at Teenagerie.com. The author's take on this "who should be responsible for preventing sexual assault" situation really touched me. Obviously, a person can take all the precautions in the world and still become a victim. No one is to blame for rape but rapists themselves, and if we spend time educating women how to protect themselves, we should spend an equal amount of time (if not more) reaching out to — let's face it, men — about ending violence against women. 

Okay, beer companies, enough is enough . . .

I must begin by saying that this is one of the most horrific ads I've seen in my entire life, and I spend a great deal of time searching for sexist and otherwise degrading ads to show at my women's rights club Real Beauty Revolution. The purpose of this ad, made clear by the (tiny) bottle in the lower right-hand corner, is to sell Coopers Beer. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that beer will always sell, regardless of whether or not it's heavily advertised, so this ad causes one to wonder how the Coopers Beer company can get away with printing something so blatantly disrespectful towards women. Most notably: overweight women.

If you haven't quite grasped the ad's concept (as it took me a minute to understand the first time I laid eyes on it), the miniscule caption in the lower corner reads: "Only 29% alcohol." In the bulk of the ad we see a woman, but not really; she's more of a hybrid, a ridiculous photo-shopped illusion of a woman. Her head is that of a young blonde (no doubt the representation of "beauty" here) and the rest is the body of a larger woman. Get it? 29% alcohol, 29% "hot chick"? This can also be read as: "when the women in your life aren't attractive enough, just take a swig of Coopers Beer and you'll be seeing [insert Hollywood actress here] in no time!

Another ridiculous ad for
Coopers Beer. The message
here?"Some women are so
unattractive, only balloon-ish
breasts would save them."
*Puke*

This ad is clearly aimed at men, as I don't know what woman could stand looking at it for more than five seconds without puking. Whoever created this ad obviously has no regard for the plight many women go through about their bodies, and is exploiting a barbaric stereotype that bigger women are "ugly" to get a cheap laugh. I hope you don't think biases are clouding my judgment when I say whoever created this ad is immature, malicious, and downright cruel.

Ads that aim to sell a product are usually predictable: their main message (argument) is to sell their product, and everything else is subtle, subliminal, or an afterthought. This ad, however, seems to be flip-flopped in that it's prominent, in-your-face message is "fat women are unattractive." Only after the audience gathers that fact do they realize the ad is for beer (the product is shoved into a lowly corner, after all). This is in incredibly bad taste, and just one of countless reminders that women are stigmatized each and every day for the way they look. It's bad enough that women are subjected to constant criticism from diet pill companies and late-night ads for exercise equipment like the Ab Circle Pro ("Not only will your Ab Circle Pro help you Lose Your Love Handles, it will help you workout and slim down your buns, hips, and thighs, too!"), but when this same sense of body-shaming is carried over to unrelated products like beer - it makes me wonder when people will finally step up and say enough is enough.

 If you'd like to unleash your rage on the Coopers Beer company, you can find their contact information here.

Fighting Feelings of Guilt While Showing Compassion for Our Global Sisters

A few weeks ago a woman approached me with an MSN article that literally sent chills down my spine. It's called 10 Worst Places in the World to Live if You're a Woman, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. It begins: "Violence, rape and little or no education is a fact of life for many women all over the globe. While the feminist movement took off in parts of the Western world, many women are still treated as second class citizens . . ." And that's not even the half of it. In a list containing hot-spots like Haiti, Darfur, and Iraq, it chronicles the types of horrors that many women have to go through on a daily basis.

Like so many young people out there, I'm stuck in a relatively quiet suburban town (it's not quite the cliche, white-picket-fence deal you see on TV, but you get what I mean) so I haven't seen or experienced very much in my lifetime. Heck, I'm a child of the 90's, I grew up on a steady diet of Nicktoons and Otter Pops, I have a comfortable bed, nice clothes, and more comic books than anyone really needs. My version of a bad day is getting a "B" on a Chemistry test, but besides that? I've got it pretty good.

As this article makes us painfully aware, millions of women are suffering grave injustices and fighting each and every day just to survive.

I don't quite know how to put my feelings into words, but when you hear about this kind of stuff, it's like . . . a horrified soberness.

I mean, do you ever feel guilty? Guilty for having nice things, for eating a good meal - for even laughing? I felt that way after my grandpa died. I can remember wanting to go out with my friends, watch a funny movie, read a good book, eat a piece of that oh-so-delicious-looking pie . . . but a little voice in my head would always jump in and torture me: "how can you even think about enjoying yourself at a time like this?"

By the same token, sometimes it's torturous just to enjoy life when you know people around the world are suffering. Is there any way to deal with this? I have a theory:

As feminists, humanists, and activists, I think it's important to express constant empathy for those who are less fortunate than ourselves. We should take every opportunity to volunteer, donate, and serve our Global Sisters (and Brothers!) - and never, ever forget to be thankful for the things (and people) we do have. I guess what I'm learning is, it's unhealthy to let guilty feelings consume you; after all, it's a fine line between "concern" and "obsession." If we can get into that healthy mind-state - that balance between being overly sensitive and not sensitive enough - I think we can do a heckuvalot more to help those in need.

So. Thinking beyond our own selfish existence here (and yes, I stole that line from Jeepers Creepers, one of the best horror movies of all time), what can we do to make a difference here and now? I've been told "not to expect to change the world," but all things considered, I think that's a pretty admirable goal.

____________________________

If you want to get your philanthropic juices flowing, I'd suggest "You're the Voice" by one of my favorite bands EVER, the oh-so-lovely and fierce Heart:

The (Big-Breasted) Curse of Women in Video Games

Video games. Sweet, succulent video games. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day . . .?

Um, sorry about that.

Though my gaming experience hardly compares to my brother’s (who I swear was playing Zelda: A Link to the Past in the womb), I still consider myself a full-fledged gamer, and a darn good one at that.

But what does it mean to be a gamer and a girl? "Teenage boy" and "video game fanatic" are often synonymous, but the same can't be said for someone like myself. In fact, in her article What Women Want, Aleah Tierney suggests that to be a girl and a gamer is to be "a stranger in a strange land . . . a male-created virtual space."

Unfortunately, I don’t think Tierney is that far off. According to We need more women in games, an article by blogger Jacob Aron, women represent nearly 38% of all gamers, but only 11% of game developers. But when you think about it, is it really shocking that more women aren’t lining up to work at places like Nintendo, Capcom, and Konami (just to name a few)? Childhood I-want-to-be-a-ballerina fantasies aside (hey, don’t look at me!), women are taught to be practical. *Puts on sarcastic tone* Why risk doing something so math- and science-oriented like developing video games when we should be flexing our natural abilities as helpers and nurturers?

Video game developing just doesn’t appeal to most women (sadly enough), and that’s probably why a majority of the game universe has been molded around puke-inducing male fantasies of macho, gun-totting heroes and exotic, large-breasted women.

Though they make up only 49% of the US population, research shows that 85% of all video game characters are male - and that figure rises to 90% for characters that players can actually control. Excluding race as a factor (which is another issue entirely), male characters in video games are as diverse as ever. They can be bulky-as-heck, gaunt, or average-looking. They can be triumphant heroes, shady villains, or your Average Joe off the street. They can be hunky, intelligent, sleazy, or badass - it doesn’t really matter. There’s no end to the possibilities of what male characters can be.

Expectations for female video game characters, however, are much more constricted. They're often forced to play the “helpless princess” role, giving a male lead the chance to flex his muscles and "save the day." Female characters are also constantly portrayed as meek, shy, submissive, innocent, naïve - the list goes on and on. I’ve even noticed that 4 times out of 5, fantasy-game-women are given roles as healers or sorceresses rather than sword-wielding warriors. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with having supernatural abilities (heck, I wouldn't mind having a few myself), but it makes me think back to the whole "women are supposed to be helpers" theory.

Helpers. Sidekicks. Servants?

Now, for those of you who don’t play video games, I hope you don’t think they’re all sexist piles of crap! On the contrary, there are plenty of awesome, strong women who hold their own against male counterparts (Samus Aran from Metroid and Jill Valentine from Resident Evil both come to mind). But I do have one gripe . . .

Women in video games are always, always, always inhumanly “beautiful.”

Whereas male characters can place anywhere on the scale of attractiveness from “purposefully repulsive” to “god-like," video game women always have to fall under the latter category. With physiques that make Barbie look average, these characters have impossibly long and slender legs; skinny waists (but wide hips); and breasts that mimic medium-sized watermelons. Just type in “women in video games” to Google Images and you’ll see what I mean!

What the heck? Do you think the people who created these - um - overly-endowed characters just sat down one day and said “so, how big do you think we can get these puppies"?

Because it seems pretty frivolous to me.

I’d say the body proportions of 90% of female video game characters are a huge insult to women in real-life. What is it, video-game-developer-who-lives-with-his-parents, we're not good enough for you?

Aleah Tierney wrote about her own frustrations when playing Tomb Raider for the first time. The game’s lead (Lara Croft) is often seen as a beacon of female empowerment, but Tierney didn’t exactly see things that way:

I couldn't wait to load and play Tomb Raider when it first came out, but when I saw Lara, I just couldn't take the game seriously. The giant twin pyramids mounted onto her chest look like something she could use to impale her enemies. In many ways her kick-butt presence is a triumph, but the designers' decision to sexualize her to the point of deformity angered me. I couldn't get past her proportions, so I put the game away. I'm waiting to see if Lara (or her designers) will evolve in future versions of the game.

I don’t think Lara’s changing anytime soon, pal. In fact, video games are becoming more and more sexualized as time goes on - and as kids (people in general, actually) are becoming de-sensitized to staggering levels of violence and sexualization in all areas of the media, I don’t see conditions improving for video game gals anytime soon.

It’s kind of funny, actually. I can play the bloodiest, goriest games ever - the kind with chainsaws, zombies, and flesh-eating dogs - and they don’t bother me a bit. Why? Because killing zombies is hardly something I’m going to pick up as an actual hobby (and I don’t foresee a People for Zombie Rights group anywhere in the near future, so I'm not offending anybody by takin' them out). But the gender stereotypes and hypersexualization in games? That affects us. And it sucks. It really, really sucks. Because no matter how kickass a female character is - like I said before - as soon as you type her name into Google Images you’re going to be bombarded with twenty pages of fan art of the woman flashing her (mutant) breasts. It's degrading.

So I’ll be sticking to my survival horror games, thank you very much, because zombies don’t care if you’re male or female - or whether or not you have gargantuan jugs - they’ll try to eat your brains either way :)

Are you a female gamer too, just looking for a little support? Check out this site!

Sexism and Other Garbage in Our Media

Have you ever had a love-hate relationship with something? Like chocolate. I mean, one minute you love it more than life itself (I've been known to eat a s'more in my day), but the next minute you're staring into the bathroom mirror, pinching and pulling your thighs, and wondering why you ever got mixed up with that crap in the first place. That pretty much sums up my love-hate relationship with the media, minus the pinching and pulling. One minute I'll be chuckling at a Skittles commercial, but the next minute I'll go on a rampage because some idiotic company felt the need to bash, stereotype, or otherwise degrade women to sell their products.

I didn't used to be so critical, but once I actually started paying attention to what I was watching and reading I realized how much garbage we're subjected to in a day - it's on TV, in newspapers, magazines, billboards, everywhere! We can't escape it!

I've been collecting sexist ads on the internet for a while now, and while some are only mildly sexist, others are oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-they-did-that-who's-skull-can-I-bash-in sexist. And there have been some common themes along the way:

1. "Oh, you're a woman? You must be [insert stereotype here]."

Translation: Women only serve two purposes. I'm sure you can guess what they are.

It just amazes me that companies can get away with printing such blatantly-sexist advertisements, and ads that promote ridiculous stereotypes about women are more common than I first realized. Women are frequently typecast as shoppers, pink-lovers, gold-diggers, scaredy-cats, sexual objects, prostitutes, nagging mothers, air-heads. . . it never ends! I don't know about you, but I am neither a shopper, pink-lover, gold-digger, scaredy-cat, sexual object, prostitute, nor nagging mother. And heaven forbid you call me an airhead. Why do advertisers think it's okay to paint women in this light?

Here are some gender-related videos:

Analysis of Gender in Media
Gender Stereotypes in Media
Gender Stereotyping of Women in the Media

2. "Are women even human? Nah, they're just objects."

Translation: Keep the bag, throw away the woman.

As discussed in the documentary Killing Us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women, women are constantly turned into objects, sometimes even becoming part of the product that's being sold. Some might justify this by saying women's bodies are "beautiful works of art." Well yeah, we're awesome. But we're not inanimate things that can be used like a piece of toilet paper. As the documentary explains (please watch it), when women are portrayed as less than human people can use that as an excuse to justify violence against them. After all, is it easier to mistreat something you value (i.e. like a human being), or something that is little more than a piece of meat or, in the case of this advertisement, garbage?

3. "Make that sexual objects."


Translation: Women are valued for their bodies, not their intelligence, personalities, etc.

First off, how funny (i.e. ridiculous) is it that an ad for wakeboards stuffs their product into a teeny-weeny corner, while the forefront is dominated by irrelevant, bikini-clad women? Does this tactic really work with its intended audience, which we can all assume to be men? Do they really see this as and think "ooh, women, I must buy a wakeboard"? That's pretty insulting to their intelligence, isn't it? But if I can get to my main rant, thank you, this ad is incredibly degrading. By covering up the women's faces (but leaving their bodies exposed) we get the message that they are not people to be valued for their intelligence, humor, personalities, or anything that makes them inherently likeable or unique, they're valued for their bodies and sexuality. Not only do the bags make these women appear as if they're less than human, they transform them into sexual objects. Horrifying.


4. "This is what beauty really looks like."


Translation: If you're with an ugly woman like this, who could blame you if you cheated with a gorgeous woman like this?

I absolutely deplore ads that try to impose their idea of beauty on us. The message "sometimes ya gotta cheat" is sickening enough (are they really trying to promote adultery?), but I just hate the fact that they're taking it upon themselves to judge two women purely by their looks. This woman is wrinkly, old, and therefore ugly; this woman is skinny, busty, and therefore beautiful. There's no mention of internal qualities; after all, who needs to be smart or compassionate when they've got jugs? These ads drive women crazy because they feel insurmountable pressure to look more like the "mistress" and less like the "wife." These ads might also hurt our relationships with men, because one day we're lounging around in our grungy pajamas and they're thinking "hey, why don't you look like this?"


5. "Violence? Eh, it's no big deal."


Translation: I don't even know what they were trying to go for.

This ad is frivolous, meaningless. Violence for the sake of violence. I have absolutely no clue how this would make people want to buy ties (unless they're in the mafia). Just look at the sickening expression on the man's face. "Yeah, look what I did." He looks amused, clutching the naked dead woman by the throat, blood dripping down the hood of the car. This ad pretty much renders my brain numb. I don't know how to describe it, how to accurately describe my rage, my disgust. How can they . . . Why would they . . . This is pure horror. They're glorifying violence against women to sell their crappy little ties - and if the public thinks this is okay, we're all in trouble. I beg you: if you ever see an ad as horrific as this, please, please, please make some phone calls, write some letters, call the president, do whatever you have to do to get it destroyed.