Feminist Findings in Lady Gaga's Newest Album

When it comes to Lady Gaga, the biggest name in pop music (and arguably the world) today, my feelings are very much in tune with what Noelle Williams had to say in this article published on Ms. Blog:

[Lady Gaga] will say something feminist one minute and equate feminism with man-hating the next. Sometimes she seems too skinny, too blonde, too commercial — but then she explains how her Bad Romance video simulates the trafficking of women as commodities in the music industry and I swoon.

There's a huge debate over whether Lady Gaga is truly a "feminist icon" or simply another media-hound who will go to any length to make the tabloids buzz (can anybody say "meat dress"?), but I like to think that I'm on neutral ground. I'm not ready to call the woman the next [insert your favorite feminist here], but I certainly appreciate the positive messages in some of her songs, namely those that have to do with female empowerment and "just being yourself."

As much as my anti-mainstream senses are telling me to hate Ms. Gaga (the product of growing up with a musically-gifted-yet-stubborn brother who will bite the head off anyone who admits to liking a mainstream artist), I honestly think it's cool that one of the biggest celebrities in the world is an outspoken woman who unforgivingly supports LGBT rights — and sometimes feminist ideals. 

As Williams states in the conclusion of her Ms. Blog article, Gaga possesses the type of "immense popularity and youthful, outspoken image [that] could be the perfect set-up for a revolution." In other words, she has the potential to make feminism and LGBT rights fashionable in a world that has traditionally viewed both in a negative light. We can only hope that "Mother Monster" uses this power and influence to incite positive change, and leaves past mistakes behind her.

My favorite lines from select songs on Lady Gaga's new album:

I'm gonna marry the night

I won't give up on my life

I'm a warrior queen

Live passionately tonight

- Marry the Night

I will fight for, I have fought for how I love you (La-la-la-la-la-la)
I have cried for, I will die for how I care (La-la-la-la-la-la)
- Americano

I just wanna be myself,
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself,
And I want you to know, I am my Hair

I’ve had enough
This is my prayer
That I’ll die living just as free as my hair

I don't wanna change,
And I don't wanna be ashamed
I'm the spirit of my Hair
It's all the glory that I bare
I am my Hair!
- Hair

When I'm on a mission
I rebuke my condition.
If you're a strong female,
You don't need permission.

Love is objectified by what men say is right
Scheiße-scheiße be mine,
Bullshit be mine (Bullshit be mine)
Blonde high-heeled feminist enlisting femmes for this
Express your woman-kind
Fight for your right (Fight for your right)
- Scheiße

We are not just art for 
Michelangelo to carve.
- Bloody Mary

Don't tell me I'm less than my freedom.

I’m a twit, degenerate young rebel and I’m proud of it
Pump your fist if you would rather mess up than put up with this
- Bad Kids

She's just an American riding a dream
And she's got rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds
They don't care if your papers or your love is the law
She's a free soul burning roads with the flag in her bra
- Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)

Tonight I'm gonna show
Them what I'm made of, oh!
The killer queen inside me's
Coming to say "Hello!"

Whenever I start feeling strong, I'm called a bitch in the night
But I don't need these 14-carat guns to win
I am a woman, I insist it's my life

I can be
The queen that's inside of me
This is my chance to release it
Be brave for you you'll see

I can be
The queen you need me to be
This is my chance to be the dance
I've dreamed it's happening
I can be the queen
- The Queen

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth

In the religion of the insecure
I must be my self, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi,
lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.
- Born This Way

"Because You Think Being A Girl Is Degrading"

(Above) Do androgynous models catch flack for rocking the very concept of
gender binary to its core? Well, if they do, they're probably too
busy making snow angels in piles of cash to notice.

When I was in 8th grade, my teacher wanted to liven things up by giving us a debate topic that was a tad more risqué than usual, at least by middle-school standards. The topic was: Is it better to be a girl or a boy? Not "which sex is better?", but literally "which sex has the better end of the deal?"

I remember being excited by this question. As a little feminist-in-the-making (which at that age probably translated to "Woo! Girls rule!"), I had my answer perfectly formulated before anybody else had time to blink: 

Obviously, girls have it better because we have more freedom when it comes to doing the things we want. Girls can play sports and do other "guy stuff" and people think it's cool. But poor boys, if they want to knit, or bake, or do stereotypical "girl stuff" people make fun of them for it.

I was confident with this answer. It felt rock-solid, and I didn't think anybody would be able to come up with a good counter-argument when it came time to duke things out in the classroom. Truth be told, I can't remember what words were exchanged that day, but I do remember feeling utterly betrayed when my friend — a Korean chick who, to this day, is still one of the coolest and funniest people I know — sat on the boys' side of the argument. I just couldn't understand why she thought boys had a better deal in life. What happened to sisterhood?

Looking back, I realize now that my friend (who I'll call Ki-Jyeong Mung for legal reasons) was smarter than all of us. While the rest of us girls sat in smug satisfaction that we had a pretty good set-up in life (We could choose to be tomboys or girly-girls! How liberating!), we didn't understand the deeper implications of our opinion. When a girl is admired for kicking tail on the basketball court but a boy is called every number of degrading names for wearing a holiday sweater that's too "feminine," what is that really saying about the female gender?

After all these years, I finally get it. And I think this picture (which quotes a Madonna song) sums "it" up perfectly.

20 Best Biographies for Women in Business

This article was submitted to me by Florine C. over at bachelorsdegree.org.

What do Ruth Handler, Martha Stewart, and Oprah have in common? They're all included in an article titled 20 Best Biographies for Women in Business! This article features books about influential women who have overcome many of the trials that go along with being female in the male-dominated world of business and economics. 

If you're an aspiring entrepreneur (or simply have an insatiable hunger for new reading material), you should definitely check these books out — literally, from your library!

Life According to Google (Men vs. Women)

Is Google an elusive window into the complex minds of internetizens, 

or just an annoying friend who likes to finish all your sentences?

Female, Not A Marionette (By Jennifer J.)

Who's pulling your strings?

This piece was submitted by Jennifer J., a teen feminist and humanist. Jennifer would like to communicate with other teens who share her values, and end up making the world a better place for women to speak out!

If I am writing this now, it is because I feel the need to share this with other females out there who might go through the same situation. Today, I have just realized what I am to other people, especially males. 

I am not exactly the type of girl who "goes after" somebody right after some silly talk. I like to know them first and try to be connected. I have a very big heart, but I don’t show it that much. On the outside I am the tough and cold girl you would never approach, but on the inside I am the girl who loves and cares. The only reason I don’t demonstrate it is because I have learned that the more you show how warm-hearted you are, the more people will take advantage of you. 

And so, when people would draw near me, I would be indifferent, not showing any emotions. But there was one person who, despite my frostiness, approached me and faced everything I threw at him. To me that was incredible; usually people would be distant because of how cold I am. Only he had the bravery to talk to me. 

Of course we talked for a while. We got to know each other and started talking about more romantic subjects. Like many guys, he wanted to be more intimate, however I wasn't comfortable with that. I would rather talk about these kind of things and fuel the imagination than actually be intimate with somebody. I still consider myself a little girl; I don’t want to go that far.

After arguing about it several times, I decided to drop it and delete this guy from my contacts. Was that supposed to feel bad? Well, I did feel bad about doing that for some reason. I added him back and we continued talking to each other. As time passed, he was really getting serious and that critically put pressure on me. My body is a temple. I am not supposed to be pressured because of it, right? 

I decided then to talk to him about it. I told him that I shouldn’t be pressured and that we should slow things down. Today, I realize that he obliterated me. Now it makes me think about how and what I am to males. 

I am a female, and I am intelligent, beautiful, graceful, important and trustworthy. My body is sacred and not a universal pathway. I am talking now in the name of all females in the world. We are not something people can just use for their fantasies. We are love, care, comfort and attention. We are strength, courage and beauty. What makes guys think that we can be the tissue they blow in? 

Our bodies are the reason why there is a world and a worldwide population. We bear life in us. We are to be respected and loved. So I will state this one very last thing and if you can, read it out loud:

“I am a woman and not a marionette.”  

Interview With A Cult Member

And today's Dumbass Award goes to . . .

Since mentioning them in my post about SlutWalk Seattle a few weeks ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't write about the Westboro Baptist Church ever, ever again. They're America's most infamous hate-mongers, using the bible and Christianity (at least, their brand of Christianity) to justify savage and hateful messages targeted at almost every group imaginable: homosexuals, abortionists, Muslims, Jews, Roman Catholics, even the United States military.

There's a 99.999% chance that WBC hates you, too.

Free speech is one of many things that makes our nation — well, to be quite frank — pretty damn awesome, but this insane, hate-filled cult abuses that right to personally attack the aforementioned groups and their families. When they're not stomping the American flag with soccer cleats or posting hateful parodies of popular songs on their website (the homophobic buggers even had the nerve to parody an Elton John song), they travel thousands of miles from their cozy coven in Topeka, Kansas to picket military funerals, gay pride events, Jewish community centers, etc.

They even went so far as to picket the funeral of Matthew Shepard, a young man who was murdered in 1998 for no other reason than the fact that he was gay. In response, WBC posted this on their website:

WBC picketed the funeral of Matthew Shepard, to inject a little truth and sanity into the irrational orgy of lies consuming this world. WBC does not support the murder of Matthew Shepard . . . However, the truth about Matthew Shepard needs to be known. He lived a Satanic lifestyle. He got himself killed trolling for anonymous homosexual sex in a bar at midnight. Unless he repented in the final hours of his life, he is in hell. He will be in hell for all eternity,

Have you bashed in your screen yet? No? Okay, let's keep going.

Don't get me wrong, I know what these people are doing. Let's just say it's no coincidence that WBC has so many lawyers in the family. They're media-hounds. They picked the most controversial subjects in existence — homosexuality, religion, patriotism, the government — and have blown them into crazy proportions in order to get people to fire back at them. If somebody so much as lays a finger on one of these "peaceful protesters" BAM! They're slapped with a billion dollar lawsuit and consecutive life sentences. You gotta hand it to these guys. They've got a sweet little operation set up.

Here's a documentary about WBC called "The Most Hated Family in America." It's interesting, but watch it at your own risk! These people are very, very, very, very, very, very (did I say very?) offensive.

Back to the topic at hand, I had a crazy whim to get in contact with WBC yesterday. I wanted to  know what it was like to talk to somebody who has such blatant disregard for compassion, humanity — and since WBC's website mockingly claims that they lose 0 nanoseconds of sleep over other people's "thoughts and feeeeellllliiiiiiings," I knew any member of the church would be a perfect match.

It took about an hour and twenty failed call attempts to reach anybody from the church. Clever Netizens have posted the personal phone numbers of all WBC leaders online, but the poor saps can probably only take so many prank calls before they have to acquire new numbers, rendering their old numbers invalid. After hearing The number you have dialed is no longer in service for the twentieth time, finally, I succeeded.

This is a transcript of my interview with a member of the Westboro Baptist Cult — I mean Church. For privacy's sake (and the fact that I can't afford to get sued), I've changed the interviewee's name:

*Phone ringing* 

Schmoopie: This is Schmoopie, may I help you? 

Danielle: Hi, are you affiliated with the Westboro Baptist Church? 

S: I am. 

D: Um, I actually have a few questions. 

S: You have a few questions? 

D: Yeah, I was actually wondering how you guys felt— 

S: Is this kind of a personal inquiry or is this a media inquiry? 

D: More personal. It's just one question . . .  

S: Go ahead. 

D: What is your church's view on feminism, women's rights, that kind of thing? 

S: On, on what now? 

D: Feminism, women's rights? 

S: Oh well, uh, God — there's nothin' wrong with women. *laughs* God didn't say it was an abomination to be a woman. Uh, yeah, so women are cool. 

*audible laughter in the background* 

D: Oh, okay. So what about feminism in general? Do you—

S: You, you mean — well if by feminism you mean, uh, women, uh, trying to be all that and a bag of chips? 

D: Uh, no, I mean women who are fighting for equal pay, equal treatment under the law, that kind of thing? 

S: Well I think that, uh, everybody ought to be treated equal under the law, and I think that women have every right in the world to make as much money as a man does to do the same job.  

D: Okay. 

S: Yeah, that's all groovy-gravy right there. 

D: So, you don't believe that if a woman, or even a man, defines themself as a feminist that they would go to hell? 

S: Well, I think that anybody who defines themself as a feminist, uh, probably isn't interested in the bible. 

D: Oh, why is that? There are plenty of women who mesh— 

S: Did you just, did you ask me a question? Do you want me to answer it? 

D: Yes. Sorry. 

S: Alright, cool. So anybody who defines themself as a feminist probably doesn't have the, um, a proper fear of the lord. I'm not trying to throw a big blanket over the whole thing, but what I'm saying is, the kinds of things that you've talked about, the kinds of aspects of feminism that you've already talked about — equal pay, equal treatment under the law — that doesn't have anything to do with feminism. And certainly we're not opposed to anything like that, but I will tell you that some aspects of quote-on-quote feminism is, I think the Westboro Baptist Church absolutely has a problem with. And that is, that would be stuff like this: Um, the bible says "I suffer not a woman to teach," so the idea of a woma— of female preachers in the pulpits in the churches . . . 

D: Mhmm? 

S: Is an absolute no-no by scriptural standards. Furthermore, uh, uh, the wife is subject to the husband in all things in that marriage covenant. So in other words, you know the husband or the father in the house is the authority in the house. He's the final say in the house. So, those aspects of things, that the feminist movement has tried, has tried for a long time now to usurp and to reject. Uh, w-we, we absolutely — look — if man says one thing, and God says another, you know, vis a vis the bible, we're gonna go with the bible.  

D: Okay. 

S: But we don't have, we don't have any problem with the stuff, huh, the [unintelligible] equal treatment under the law, and the equal pay, and those kinds of things. Who the heck would want to pay a woman and a man a different wage for doing the same job? 

D: Exactly. Um, actually feminism as I know it is exactly what you said: it's fighting for equal rights, equal pay, equal political opportunities, so I was just curious — what is your definition of a feminist?  

Directions:

1. Look up book on Amazon

2. Read synopsis

3. Commence punching yourself

    in the face

S: Well that's a little bit, you know look, I have my definition of feminism . . . You know used to, I used to study, uh, philosophy at the Department — at the, the University of Kansas. I worked on a piece there for a while, so I have a philosophical definition of feminism, but then you— feminism is one of those kinda murky, uh, there really isn't a tightly-wound, uh, you know, disposition there, it's kinda like nailing jello to a tree. 

If you ask five different people what feminism is you're proba— you're bound to get five different answers. But, so, like I said, those aspects of, of feminism that have to do with equal treatment under the law, we're all for. But when you usurp the bible's authority on some aspects of feminism like, say, putting women in the pulpits, and, and having women— and there's a really good book for you to read on this. I can't think of the author's name, but I can tell you what the, the name of the book is. You'll really like this. It's called, uh, Bobbed Hair, Bossy Wives, and Women Preachers. And that's, that's got kind of a bible view of how a true church of the lord Jesus Christ oughta take a look at the roles of women. 

Well, I like women though. I got daughters and I got friends, sisters in Christ, and I have a wife. Cool? 

D: Okay. Thank you very much. 

S: Alright. 

D: 'Kay, bye.

Would I have liked a more substantial interview, one where I was actually given the time to sputter out more than "okay" and "mhmm"? Absolutely.

Analyze that conversation as you will, but I just think it proves that the members of WBC are incredibly closed-minded. Schmoopie may have pretended to be progressive and enlightened by oh-so-intelligently proclaiming his love and appreciation for the female sex (and I quote: "women are cool"), but he's obviously no different than the author of the horrendous book he suggested to me:

• Someone who doesn't think women are fit to teach anyone with a male appendage, 
• someone who thinks wives should keep their mouths shut rather than have opinions of their own, and 
• someone who thinks women shouldn't even be allowed to cut their freaking hair.

I've thought a lot about this since yesterday. I've stewed over it. Rued over it. And as drunkenly ridiculous as this may sound, I think America needs groups like the Westboro Baptist Church. Why? Because they show us the wrong way to live. They show us what hate really looks like, thereby solidifying many of our beliefs in true justice, love, tolerance, and equality. 

So thank you, WBC, for being such major jackasses!

And remember kiddies, if the Westboro Baptist Church hates you, that must mean you're doing something right!

____________________________

Recommended Videos:

• Shirley Phelps (WBC) Gets Bashed by Julie Banderas on Fox News
• Shirley Phelps (WBC) on Tyra Banks' Show
• Shirley Phelps Thinks that the Amish Girls Deserved to Die
• Michael Moore vs. Westboro Baptist Church
• Anonymous Hacks Westboro Baptist Church Website
• Westboro Baptist Church Family Disowns Daughter

____________________________

Contact Information:

If you would like to email WBC, possibly give 'em a piece of your mind, go here.

If you'd like to personally call one of the members of WBC like I did, go here. Scroll down until you see the second phone number given by a person called "C." I heard WBC likes phone calls at 3 am.

For Every Girl, For Every Boy

What are your feelings on chivalry?

My friend Erika asked me this question a while back, and I think it's an important one. We all know that one gross misconception about feminists is that we all hate men*, so it's probably also a preconception that feminists despise chivalry, or "special courtesy afforded to women by men."

I honestly had a heckuva time coming up with an answer to this question. I mean, if a boy insisted on opening my car door, pulling out my seat at dinner, whatever - would that go against my beliefs as a feminist because, in all actuality, I'm perfectly capable of doing all of those things by myself?

As they say, this issue is a double-edged sword. If a feminist woman denies chivalry, people will call her a man-hater (just check out the shirts that say "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it!"). If, on the other hand, a feminist woman accepts chivalry, people will call her a hypocrite.

We just can't get a break, can we?

Well, here's my answer to this brain-bending question. You might agree, you might not, but either way I'd love to hear your opinion.

Q: "What are your feelings on chivalry? Legitimate, heart-felt, pure chivalry?"

A: First of all, interesting question! But it makes all the difference that you said "Legitimate, heart-felt, pure chivalry." I think there's a huge difference between a boy doing something nice for a girl because he expects to "get something" in return, and a boy doing something nice for a girl because he genuinely cares for her. 

But I also don't think chivalry is necessarily something that a man should do for a woman* - it's common courtesy that all people should exhibit. It's the little things you do each and every day for people to show respect: holding doors and elevators, helping somebody with their groceries, giving somebody the bigger slice of pizza . . .

So, am I against a boy holding a door open for a girl? No way. But tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, I would expect that same girl to hold a door open for the person behind her, that person to hold a door for the person behind him, and so on.

In the long run, everybody deserves respect. Guys should respect girls, guys should respect guys, girls should respect guys, girls should respect girls . . . and I'm pretty sure I should respect you, and you should respect me. Because we're all people, right?

________________________

*Don't get me started on the "feminists hate men" stereotype . . .

*Yes, I know the official definition of chivalry is "The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women." But we're not in the 10th Century anymore. If knights are characterized by bravery, courtesy, and honor, women sure as hell can be modern-day "knights"!

Stereotypes about femininity got you down . . . ?

About a month ago a woman from HighWire, a program at Lancaster University in the UK, contacted me about a video made by some of her students. On top of earning PhDs, they're part of something called the "EmpowerMe" project. How cool does that sound?

The video advertises a new (and fictitious) product called Gendolene, a bleach of sorts that can be used to eradicate femina stereotypica, or stereotypical femininity, via the color pink.

The video's only a minute long, but it's a clever commentary on the "pinkification pandemic" that's taken the world by storm. Here's what the makers of Gendolene had to say on their website:

"The power of Gendolene isn’t something that comes in a bottle. It’s our collective ability to resist and reverse the tide of pinkification that has gradually washed its way across so many toys, clothes, accessories and household items targeted at girls and young women.

Our goal is to challenge the production and marketing of items that simply reinforce restrictive and damaging stereotypes about what it means to be a girl.

The culture of pink segregates boys and girls into different aisles. In one it’s cool to be active, adventurous and explore the world; in the other it’s cool just to look pretty and explore as far as the next pair of shoes or shade of lipstick.

We think it’s about time manufacturers and retailers join the 21st century and find new ways of engaging with our young people that promote equality and empowerment for all, irrespective of the body we happen to be born into."

I can already see somebody reading this and thinking "so that's what feminists want, to get rid of all the pink in the world?" Puh-lease. The video is speaking to the fact that when institutions such as "femininity" and "masculinity" are rigid and narrowly defined, everyone is affected - men and women alike!

Update (1/11/2011) - Becci from the EmpowerMe Project would like to add:

"I think that its really important for children's toys to inform and prepare children for the diverse and complex world that lies ahead. We should therefore be providing our children with a wide range of toys which not only support their physical and cognitive development, but that also develop their understanding of how 'real' men and women look, behave and interact with the world, as opposed to distorted and often unobtainable representations."

Feminist Perspectives on Popular Movies: Heroine Content

Despite jokes like The Action Heroine’s Handbook, a guide that ridiculously suggests being able to “choke a man with your bare thighs” is the staple of any successful heroine, strong, kick-ass women are something to be celebrated in popular culture. But I’ll admit, it’d be a lot easier if they weren’t always overshadowed by their male counterparts. Seriously, we’re so used to brawny, fearless, save-the-day heroes - that female characters are often shoved on a back burner, occupying a variety of stereotypical roles that range from nagging mothers, to helpless victims, to my personal favorite (i.e. the bane of my existence) prostitutes. Now I’m not saying that women are always typecast this way, but you have to admit there seem to be a lot more Supermen on TV and in the movies than Superwomen. And even when fictional female characters do exhibit qualities that make us glow with pride - bravery, for example - they’re not always given the credit, or even the attention, they deserve.

Well, a friend of mine turned me on to a site earlier today that I simply have to share, and with the awesome tagline “feminist and anti-racist thoughts on women kicking ass,” how can you go wrong?

Heroine Content is a site by women, for women. Basically, it’s a creative center where insightful authoresses analyze movies (and, to a lesser extent, books and TV shows) through feminist and humanist perspectives. And in case you’re one of those people who think activists stick to watching old, stuffy nature documentaries - think again! This site is for the modern woman, and even if we like our rom-coms and tear-jerkers from time to time, we also like sci-fi, horror, and heart-pounding action.

Not only are the women who contribute to this site witty, they’re just plain thoughtful. They seem like the type of gals you’d want to have coffee with (or in my case, hot chocolate), and don’t try to over-complicate things or use flamboyant language just to seem legit. They’re down-to-earth and honest, but at the same time have no problem calling out sexist crap when they see it.

It’s just fascinating to read what these women have to say because they actually give women in movies - the ones who are usually overlooked or written off as “lesser characters” - the attention they deserve. The review that really spoke to me (oddly enough) was for The Book of Eli, a movie I saw about a month ago with my parents. Skye (the reviewer) mentioned how Peter Howell of Toronto’s thestar.com called the two female leads “hot hookers”; if you’ve seen the movie you’ll understand why that is complete and utter bull . . . dog. These women live in a post-apocalyptic world and are constantly threatened with sexual violence. “So,” Skye writes, “Peter Howell calls them ‘hot hookers.’ Gee, I wonder what he thinks of non-fictional women who are in abusive relationships, or who are forced into prostitution by threat of violence?”

Ssssss . . . burn.

Heroine Content is a cool site (cool enough to earn a spot on my Favorites taskbar!) and definitely worth a look-see or two. Heck, it might even save you a disappointing trip to the movie theater!

Drawing Strength From Going Against the "Beauty Grain"

Man, I'm exhausted. My inner-feminist got a good workout this week (even if I didn’t).

First it was watching an incredibly stereotypical episode of Disaster Date (see Cram another feminist stereotype in there, why don't you?), then it was listening to a bitter Youtubian trying to tell me why "women have it so easy in life," and then kindly reminding him why that wasn’t necessarily true. And now, go figure, a Facebook comment has got my vigilante juices flowing.

You see, I was making my usual rounds on Facebook (scrolling down the homepage to see if anything juicy was going on) when I noticed one of my classmates talking about possibly getting her hair cut. Now don't get me wrong, her hair is absolutely gorgeous - long, shiny, and black, the kind wig-makers would kill for - but I'm a huge fan of short cuts (no pun intended). Naturally, I chimed in with a good pat on the back and “atta girl,” but it wasn’t long before a couple of boys jumped in and disagreed, saying short hair most certainly wouldn’t be cute.

Miffed, I asked: "What's wrong with short hair?"

Nothing, apparently. Except the girl in question "wouldn't look as cute" with it.

"Well, it's not your decision to make!” . . . is what I would’ve said, if I weren’t such a civil person. (Facebook is no place for a fight. Back alleys are so much better . . .)

But seriously, this isn't a stand-alone case. Whenever a girl talks about getting her hair cut on Facebook (yeah, teens have too much time on their hands), it's always girls who show support, and guys who seem to have massive coronaries. I know it's a biological fact that men are attracted to women with long hair (you know, because it signifies "youth" and "fertility," stuff 16-year-olds really care about), but it's the 21st century for cryin' out loud! If we want to get our hair cut short - or do anything that contradicts outdated standards of beauty - what's stopping us?

In fact (and yes, this is going to sound really cheesy), I'm starting to realize the power one can draw from going against the grain. The beauty grain, that is.


For starters, my hair is short. Not a big deal, right? But you're talking to a girl who only had about three trips to Super Cuts in her entire childhood, and who had waist-length hair until the 10th grade. But I've never felt more alive since adopting a short do, and I couldn't care less what type of hair boys prefer. Because short hair - that I can tease mercilessly, that hardly needs brushing, and that creates the most awesome bed-head ever - makes me feel light, free, confident, and fierce.


Something else I've taken for granted until recently is natural beauty. I’ve always seen it in others, but when it comes to myself I’ve always felt the need to hide my imperfections (especially at school) with healthy doses of foundation and mascara. I can even remember the one time I didn't wear makeup to school (because I was so gosh-darned tired), and I ended up feeling self-conscious all day. It sucked big time.


But these days, seeing as I can’t get my license for another six months and my parents both work, I’ve been stuck at home all summer. In other words: no makeup.

Have you ever really looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean really looked?


Astrid Alaud posed a similar question when she asked if we’ve ever actually “tasted” a carrot. Not just ate it, but tasted it. She suggested that “we can’t taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie,” and similarly, I think there’s no better time to marvel at the beauty of humanity as when we’re completely "natural."


I know (now) that when I look in the mirror it doesn’t matter whether my eyelashes are long and luscious or straight and stubby, if my complexion is perfectly tanned or perfectly pink, or if my blemishes are covered or just there. It really doesn’t matter. But when I take a minute to actually study myself, feel my face in my hands, or jack it up into an uninhibited smile, I see a girl who’s funny, and dorky, and smart, and corny, and above all passionate about a lot of things. And that’s when I think I know . . . scratch that, that's when I know what magazines are missing these days. Not just me, but us. The real us.


All I’m saying is: don’t let other people tell you how to live your life. Don’t shy away from getting your hair cut (or try to grow it out!) just because you think boys will like it, and don’t wear makeup because that’s what girls are “supposed” to do. Glam yourself up as much (or as little) as you want because it makes you happy, because it makes you confident, and because it makes you want to take on the world. Look in the mirror - really look - and be proud to see what you see.


Despite what Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and/or Hollister employee recruiters would have you believe, there is no single definition of “beauty.” So let's make up our own rules, okay?

Am I the only one who's completely freaked out by child beauty pageants?

I have to ask this question: am I the only one who's completely freaked out by child beauty pageants? I mean, whenever I'm flipping through our 900 channels (887 of which are useless) and happen across the show Toddlers & Tiaras, I can't help but watch it. I just sit there with this overall dumb look on my face because I am both mesmerized and horrified by these strange, nightmare-like creatures that are some people's idea of "beauty."

I don't care what the message was in Miss Congeniality, beauty pageants are messed up. Having full grown women prance around in bikinis to prove their self-confidence is degrading enough, but watching little 5-year-old girls do the same seems borderline abusive. These are tiny, tiny girls. Babies. Yet their coaches - who am I kidding, their mothers - are forcing them to adhere to "mature" standards of beauty, like wearing short, revealing dresses, (ten pounds of) makeup, big, bouncy hair, fake tans, and even fake teeth.

Is it just me, or is the damage really obvious here? These mothers are basically telling their daughters that they are not good enough - that they won't even have a shot at winning a pageant, let alone succeed in life - if they're not tan enough, skinny enough, peppy enough, or pretty enough. Because as we all know, girls can never be good enough.

You can cut the whole "beauty pageants are good for self-esteem" crap right now, 'cause I ain't buying it. Beauty pageants are exactly that - dehumanizing contests to see which girl looks best in a swimsuit and/or frilly dress. And don't even try to justify it with "well, the girls are encouraged to be themselves during the talent competitions!" Because if these little girls were truly given license to be themselves, their moms wouldn't be in the corner screaming "smile wider, honey! Remember that smile we practiced?"

How I detest that smile.

Believe it or not, beauty pageant moms are ten times scarier than their little demo-- I mean angels. Not only do many of them yell at their daughters when they make teeny-weeny mistakes, these women usually fit the same mold. Without spelling out every detail, you can guess that most of these women weren't treated as well as they should have as children. Maybe they never felt pretty, wanted, loved. Maybe they were told they were too "this" or too "that" to enter a pageant; maybe they got picked on in school. Whatever the case, most of these moms (I'd say 99%) are living through their daughters to create the childhood, fame, and success they wanted as children.

Beauty pageants teach little girls that looks and dresses and smiles and competition and prize money are everything in life. In other words, we need to be picture perfect. From the way we walk, to the way we talk, to the way we flirtatiously smile at others - we will always be judged. If you let your guard down even a little, you can't win in life.

What a load of bull-crap!

I would never want my daughter (please note that I'm thinking 15 years down the road here) to be a part of something like that. I can't even fathom sitting back while watching my 5-year-old being picked apart in front of a panel of judges (and other whacked-out mothers). How could any parent stand to watch that? Internal beauty my ass, confidence my ass . . .

Now you're probably thinking: Danielle, what if your daughter comes to you one day and says she wants to be in a beauty pageant? Simple. I'll say: "Who wants to sit in a stinky old chair for 6 hours getting their makeup done when they could be chopping this in half?!" That's when I'll whip out a 2-by-4.

Yes, my daughter will be joining karate.

Want to see some real heartbreak? Watch this video all the way 'till the end:

Sexism and Other Garbage in Our Media

Have you ever had a love-hate relationship with something? Like chocolate. I mean, one minute you love it more than life itself (I've been known to eat a s'more in my day), but the next minute you're staring into the bathroom mirror, pinching and pulling your thighs, and wondering why you ever got mixed up with that crap in the first place. That pretty much sums up my love-hate relationship with the media, minus the pinching and pulling. One minute I'll be chuckling at a Skittles commercial, but the next minute I'll go on a rampage because some idiotic company felt the need to bash, stereotype, or otherwise degrade women to sell their products.

I didn't used to be so critical, but once I actually started paying attention to what I was watching and reading I realized how much garbage we're subjected to in a day - it's on TV, in newspapers, magazines, billboards, everywhere! We can't escape it!

I've been collecting sexist ads on the internet for a while now, and while some are only mildly sexist, others are oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-they-did-that-who's-skull-can-I-bash-in sexist. And there have been some common themes along the way:

1. "Oh, you're a woman? You must be [insert stereotype here]."

Translation: Women only serve two purposes. I'm sure you can guess what they are.

It just amazes me that companies can get away with printing such blatantly-sexist advertisements, and ads that promote ridiculous stereotypes about women are more common than I first realized. Women are frequently typecast as shoppers, pink-lovers, gold-diggers, scaredy-cats, sexual objects, prostitutes, nagging mothers, air-heads. . . it never ends! I don't know about you, but I am neither a shopper, pink-lover, gold-digger, scaredy-cat, sexual object, prostitute, nor nagging mother. And heaven forbid you call me an airhead. Why do advertisers think it's okay to paint women in this light?

Here are some gender-related videos:

Analysis of Gender in Media
Gender Stereotypes in Media
Gender Stereotyping of Women in the Media

2. "Are women even human? Nah, they're just objects."

Translation: Keep the bag, throw away the woman.

As discussed in the documentary Killing Us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women, women are constantly turned into objects, sometimes even becoming part of the product that's being sold. Some might justify this by saying women's bodies are "beautiful works of art." Well yeah, we're awesome. But we're not inanimate things that can be used like a piece of toilet paper. As the documentary explains (please watch it), when women are portrayed as less than human people can use that as an excuse to justify violence against them. After all, is it easier to mistreat something you value (i.e. like a human being), or something that is little more than a piece of meat or, in the case of this advertisement, garbage?

3. "Make that sexual objects."


Translation: Women are valued for their bodies, not their intelligence, personalities, etc.

First off, how funny (i.e. ridiculous) is it that an ad for wakeboards stuffs their product into a teeny-weeny corner, while the forefront is dominated by irrelevant, bikini-clad women? Does this tactic really work with its intended audience, which we can all assume to be men? Do they really see this as and think "ooh, women, I must buy a wakeboard"? That's pretty insulting to their intelligence, isn't it? But if I can get to my main rant, thank you, this ad is incredibly degrading. By covering up the women's faces (but leaving their bodies exposed) we get the message that they are not people to be valued for their intelligence, humor, personalities, or anything that makes them inherently likeable or unique, they're valued for their bodies and sexuality. Not only do the bags make these women appear as if they're less than human, they transform them into sexual objects. Horrifying.


4. "This is what beauty really looks like."


Translation: If you're with an ugly woman like this, who could blame you if you cheated with a gorgeous woman like this?

I absolutely deplore ads that try to impose their idea of beauty on us. The message "sometimes ya gotta cheat" is sickening enough (are they really trying to promote adultery?), but I just hate the fact that they're taking it upon themselves to judge two women purely by their looks. This woman is wrinkly, old, and therefore ugly; this woman is skinny, busty, and therefore beautiful. There's no mention of internal qualities; after all, who needs to be smart or compassionate when they've got jugs? These ads drive women crazy because they feel insurmountable pressure to look more like the "mistress" and less like the "wife." These ads might also hurt our relationships with men, because one day we're lounging around in our grungy pajamas and they're thinking "hey, why don't you look like this?"


5. "Violence? Eh, it's no big deal."


Translation: I don't even know what they were trying to go for.

This ad is frivolous, meaningless. Violence for the sake of violence. I have absolutely no clue how this would make people want to buy ties (unless they're in the mafia). Just look at the sickening expression on the man's face. "Yeah, look what I did." He looks amused, clutching the naked dead woman by the throat, blood dripping down the hood of the car. This ad pretty much renders my brain numb. I don't know how to describe it, how to accurately describe my rage, my disgust. How can they . . . Why would they . . . This is pure horror. They're glorifying violence against women to sell their crappy little ties - and if the public thinks this is okay, we're all in trouble. I beg you: if you ever see an ad as horrific as this, please, please, please make some phone calls, write some letters, call the president, do whatever you have to do to get it destroyed.